Junkie

My bear cubs aren't the best eaters. Well - what they like, they eat a lot of. I mean, if I served up pizza, hot dogs, french fries and pudding every day - they'd be great eaters.

But, alas, I try to throw in a few healthy options here and there. Thus, my bear cubs aren't the best eaters.

One breakfast food we've settled on as both delicious to them and nutritious enough for me to not feel horrifically guilty serving it to them is Eggo Nutrigrain Blueberry Waffles (no payments/endorsements/under-the-table deals were made here. I'm just a Mama Bear telling you what we eat). Sugar Bear wakes up, rubs the sleep from her eyes and says, "Wah-FUU!". Brother Bear cleans his breakfast plate in mere seconds. Now, this may have a wee bit more to do with the very unhealthy amounts of gooey syrup that adorn these oh-so-healthy waffles, but we're not talking about that. We're talking about a semi-healthy, no bear cub complaining, Mama Bear can drink her coffee in peace kinda breakfast here.

So, needless to say, we buy ALOT of waffles for our den. We DO NOT run out of waffles. The world turns upside down, heads spin, and bear cubs say ugly things if we run out of waffles. Every week during my weekly grocery run, I consistently by 2 boxes of these suckers. It's like clockwork - my cart just glides down the aisle. I don't even have to look. I could be blindfolded and I would be able to get down the aisle, open the freezer case, and grab my 2 boxes of waffles.

That is, until recently.

A month or so ago I went to buy our "healthy" waffles, and they weren't there.

Gasp!

Now, I was shopping at a different location than my normal location (same store), so I thought, "Oh, they just don't have any because I don't shop here every week and they don't know to ALWAYS have 2 boxes of healthy waffles each week for me." We made do that week, and I returned to my regular store. I was certain we could restock our precious breakfast treats and then all would be right with the world again.

No go.

My normal store didn't have them. I thought maybe they'd done the whole "switch things around so you'll buy more stuff" trick. Nope. Everything else was in its normal place. They were just running suspiciously low on one brand of waffles.

And then I noticed the sign.

"Dear customers, due to a manufacturing shortage, we are experiencing a delay in our waffle inventory. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and hope to rectify the problem as soon as possible"*

I started to sweat. Profusely.

Manufacturing shortage? Really? What could they be short of - fake blueberries? How hard are those to come by??? What in the WORLD could be the hold up?

In an extreme moment of panic, I decided to try the organic, whole wheat flaxseed waffles as a short term replacement. You can only imagine how that went over. NO AMOUNT of sugary syrup could cover up the delicious taste of flaxseed.

Do these people know what they are doing to my life? Breakfast now consists of, "Sweetie, would you like some eggs? Okay, how 'bout some oatmeal? Oookay, what about a steamin' bowl of cream of wheat? Now..calm down..calm down, I'll get that bowl of sugar topped sugar for you just as quickly as I can!!"

Even worse, I feel like I've become a junkie. Each week, I run straight to the freezer aisle, open the door and start throwing waffle boxes around in hopes that there might be just one little box left. I'm left jonesin' on the corner waiting for the next Eggo truck to arrive.

A month later, and the cravings haven't gone away. We're making do, but barely. It's a day by day survival kinda thing. I never thought it would come to this for me. I've sunk to a new low.

I hear they have an experimental treatment program at Betty Ford. I'll let you know how it goes.

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "Leggo my Eggo", doesn't it?

*quoted as best as my panicked brain could remember