Conversations you never thought you'd have...

Those of us that are Mama and Papa Bears know it when it happens. That moment when something comes out of your mouth and then you think one of two things:

1. "Oh my God, I just became my Mother (Papa) Bear!!"

or

2. "Did I just actually have this conversation???"

You know you've been there.

(Warning, the rest of this post involves toilet talk. Feel free to walk away now. I warned you.)

Recently, I was dealing with Brother Bear's laundry. Did you know that this kid is big enough to have his own load of laundry now? There's another whole post where I weep about that. But for now, let's get back to laundry.

As I'm sorting the laundry, I notice a pair of skivvies that, well, have some remnants. (I WARNED YOU... LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME BEFORE!) I'm not talking about your garden variety skid marks Cyberbears. I'm talking leftovers. I'm talking throw-them-in-the-trash-not-enough-oxi-clean-in-this-world kinda leftovers.

Now, I may or may not have been going on week 2 of Papa Bear traveling for work. And I may, or may not have been in a mood. But this is the conversation that followed my discovery:

Mama Bear: BROTHER BEAR!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!! DID YOU EVEN TRY TO WIPE?

Brother Bear: {begins whistling and rolling his eyes like he doesn't know what I'm talking about - it's his new shtick. grrrr.}

Mama Bear: Seriously, Brother Bear, did you wipe your bottom when you finished? Because, from what I'm seeing, it certainly doesn't look like it!

Brother Bear: Well, the class was going to leave me, Mama Bear!

Mama Bear: What?

Brother Bear: The class was all finished, and they were going to go back to class....without me!

Mama Bear: Brother Bear, they were headed back to the classroom. And your classroom is 20 feet from the bathroom. Would it really have been that bad to take the extra 30 seconds to wipe?

Brother Bear: Well, no... But I was afraid I was going to clog up the toilet!!

Mama Bear: Brother Bear, if my options are: you are going to clog the toilet, OR you are going to come home with another pair of skivvies looking like this, know that my preferred option is for you to CLOG THE TOILET. No matter WHAT it takes, clean your derriere cub!

And, that, my Cyberbears, is a perfect example of conversations you never thought you'd have.

You are welcome.