Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Top of the List

A conversation between Brother Bear and his female carpool cub (thanks to the other Mama Bear for relating the story) :

Female Cub: Brother bear, I want to marry you.

Other Mama Bear: Well, two people have to day...after college...after you have a job...a long time from now. You have plenty of time to decide.

Brother Bear: Well, I also have a lot of girl cubs to decide from. Another female cub keeps saying she wants to marry me too. But Female Carpool Cub, is definitely at the top of my list.

Female Cub: What does "top of your list" mean?

Brother Bear: It means I like you the best, so it's possible that I might marry you.

Female Cub: Oh, ok. I'll marry you Brother Bear, if I don't have anyone else I want to marry too.

Brother Bear: But, Female Carpool Cub, you know (whispers) you have to kiss!

Female Cub: Oh, Brother Bear, that's ok. We'll be grown ups by then and we won't mind.

Brother Bear: But, ewwwwwwww!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Tis the Season!

YIPEE!!! It's on the shelves again!
Little things, Cyber Bears. It's the little things....

(Oh, in case you were wondering, I in no way shape form or fashion was paid for this plug. In fact, I myself paid $2.99 for this post. Just keeping it honest.)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hypothetically speaking..

I have a funny story for you. A hypothetical one of course!

Imagine if you will a harried Mama Bear on a busy Monday morning. In her normal fashion, she brilliantly scheduled her bear cub's appointment with a very-important-doctor-bear for 8 a.m. Downtown. (In her defense, she was worried about her bear cub missing something important in - get this - kindergarten). Additionally, Papa Bear had come down with a raging case of what they thought would soon be gonna-go-blind-itis and needed her to take him to an emergency eye doctor appointment later that morning.

The family scurried downtown and actually arrived 10 minutes early in order to meet with the very-important-doctor-bear. Everyone was on their best behavior for the first 45 - 50 minutes of the wait. Then, of course, things started to go south which coincided nicely with the arrival of the very-important-doctor-bear. Things only got worse when the very-important-doctor-bear delivered some less than optimum news. The Mama Bear attempted to stay strong but now had an angry, sad, bear cub on her hands.

The Mama Bear did her best to console her bear cub all the while trying to hurry him back to school so that she could take her betrothed to the doctor on time. With said bear cub back at school, she rushed home to retrieve her now nearly blind and incapacitated Papa Bear. They hopped back in the family vehicle and with little time to spare, were off to the next appointment.

In her hurry to get to the next appointment, the Mama Bear did a very poor parking job. But fearing that her spouse could lose his eyesight at any moment, she felt that there just wasn't enough time to correct matter. Thus, she left her car parked dangerously close to the one next to her and squeezed herself out as quickly as possible and rushed to the doctor.

(Now is a good time to insert some helpful information about this hypothetical Mama Bear. She's been trying very hard to reduce her post bear cubs fluff and has recently met with relative success. Not enough success to make her fit into her old sizes, but enough to give her just a wee bit of confidence that she someday could.)

Fast forward 30 minutes or so. Mama Bear, Papa Bear and the youngest cub return from appointment all relieved that Papa Bear will not lose his eyesight. Delirious with relief (and confident with her recent reduction in fluff) she eyes her previous parking job and assures herself that she and her bear cub can return to the vehicle as easily as they exited it. Why? Well, because she's confident, and her new ride has automatic sliding doors! That's why!

This Mama Bear gingerly squeezes herself and her cub in between the two vehicles. She contorts her body in order to buckle the cub into the car seat. At this point she simultaneously closes the electronic sliding passenger door and tries to enter the driver's door. Why? Well, because she's a multi-tasker, and because she thinks she can! That's why!

Shortly there after, the Mama Bear realizes that the electronic sliding passenger door is quickly coming closed on the, uh, right half of her, ummm, derriere. Panic sets in. Having never tested the "safety open feature", she fears the worst. She is certain that she is about to get half her fluffy fanny stuck in her vehicle door. Visions of a 9-1-1 call, fire trucks and giggling paramedics enter her head. Sweating profusely and near fainting, she shuts her eyes and squeals a prayer that the safety feature does indeed work as it was advertised.

Then what can only be described as as a miracle occurs and the door begins loudly beeping and starts its slow descent off of her derriere. The Mama Bear was safe. She looked up to see that no one (save her spouse and her bear cub) witnessed the event. Despite ribbing from the ever so funny Papa Bear, she would live to see another day.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Hypothetically, of course.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Creative genius?

Please, please, please tell me that the desks of DaVinci, Einstein, and Bill Gates looked like this when they were six years old:
It's creative genius, right? RIGHT?????

Friday, October 16, 2009

Love your neigh-bear

When Moses descended from the mountain with a list of heaven sent commandments, the list just happened to include "love your neighbor as yourself". When Jesus was asked what is the greatest commandment, he gave two: love God, and love your neighbor.

For some of us this is easier said than done. However, I happen to be one very lucky Mama Bear who finds it very easy to love my actual neigh-bears. And I'm not tooting my own horn here. Because I have nothing to do with why it is so easy. It's all about my real life neigh-bears.

Let me explain.

Our Den is located on the corner of a lovely little street. Within walking distance, there are 7 families with pre-school aged bear cubs. Each family is different and unique, however we all share the same common bond of pre-school bear cubs. We've come to know and welcome each other as the years and bear cubs have grown. When the weather is nice, we're known to have impromptu yard events (optional for the kids: bathing suits, optional for the Mama Bears: wine). You can often see us on any given day shuttling bear cubs from one house to another for play dates, quick errands, or to simply give another Mama Bear a break. When a new bear cub arrives we celebrate in fashion. In fact, we don't really turn down a reason to celebrate at all!

It's becoming easier to understand why loving my neigh-bear is easy, huh?

With the arrival of both "school" and fall, it was decided that it was time to celebrate. A Ladies only (with one pint-sized exception!) luncheon this time.

As I mentioned earlier, we are each unique women. We all have our own talents, and bring our own skills to the proverbial table. (side note: I'm still trying to figure out what my particular talent/skill is..but that's another post) The two fabulous ladies that hosted this event are amazingly talented women in many areas (mothering, decorating, being neigh-bear-ly). But one area where they excel light years beyond my skill level or imagination is a party like this. Seriously. Think: Martha Stewart only prettier, nicer, and their children adore them.

So, today those of us who were able circled around a beautiful table and delectable food to celebrate. Celebrate what, you ask? Well, for starters, we celebrated the start of fall and an opportunity to get together over Mama Bear food, and Mama Bear drink and not have to share it (or listen to anyone complain about it!).

But more importantly for me, it was an opportunity of gratitude. I celebrated that of all the streets, in all the world, we all landed here, together. I celebrated the conversation: that it was fun and relaxed, not uncomfortable and forced. I celebrated the laughter that always comes when we are together. I celebrated that we are diverse in our lives and parenting, but we each love our bear cubs as fiercely as the other. I celebrated that there are women with whom I can share my children just as easily as I can a recipe. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I am not a perfect bear, and I may have challenges with the other commandments laid before me. But I guarantee with neigh-bears like this, loving them just comes naturally.

We entered to this. I told you - Martha Stewart! I'm so stealing this for Thanksgiving...

Just a little beverage to start..

Appetizers. There was egg, artichoke, and cheese. (supposedly, they were easy...)

A toast to our stage in life!

Soup: butternut squash goodness

Salad: orzo, feta delight

Dessert: sin on a plate. (I'm fairly certain I broke a commandment or two eating this...)

Monday, October 12, 2009

Pick your battles

We learned early on with Brother Bear that we had to "pick our battles." As he's a very strong willed bear cub we found that if we didn't pick our battles, life would be nothing but battles.

And that's just no fun for anyone is it?

Yet again this morning, we were forced to pick our battle. It was either be dressed smartly and handsomely for church, or have some sort of clothing on our furry body and be on time to church.

You'll never guess which option we chose....

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Went to the Animal Fair

Well, we survived our annual "jaunt" to the fair, and I lived to blog about it.

Have I mentioned I am not particularly fond of the fair?

Okay. That's not being fair. ahem. I like the local, quaint, manageable fairs. It's the fair-on-steroids that I don't like. You know what, it's not the fair itself that I don't like. It's the pandemonium, sensory and gastronomic overload, bleeding money, tear invoking, diaper soaking, coupon buying, aching feet, oh-my-god-where-is-my-child-now part that I really don't like.

I shouldn't complain. The kids had a blast. A policeman gave us free tickets, the rain never came, and I found $20 on the midway (after I tried to return it first).

But, alas, I just don't like the Fair-On-Steroids that we attend. Papa Bear has banned me (and my bad attitude) from next year's festivities.

Now, that's just not fair....

Here are a few memories:

inducting Sugar Bear to fair eatin'


driving the old beater


My lil' dare-devil bear

Papa Bear's snack (a.k.a. Fried Oreos) - he said, "it tastes like an oreo wrapped in a donut"

Fishing - where "everyone is a winner"...

Our fishing prize....until they took it away. Although "everyone is a winner," everyone can't win everything...
Ahh...gun time!

Holding off the rain gods

A hello on steroids

waving in the wind

Dessert. What can I say. I'm a purist at heart. (I only ate HALF of it...)

kickin' the tires (of a Corvette)

trying to escape via the parked minivan on display (I'm right behind ya Sugar Bear!)

EVERYTHING is bigger at the fair...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Personal Trainer

I have the sweatsuit and the root beer belly. Now, can someone please recommend a personal trainer? Pilates? Step Aerobics? Help a bear cub out!