I just read this article in Newsweek Magazine (Kindle Subscription, of course!). It got me to thinking...
Where is my line in the sand with this blog? I started this blog as a way to further communicate the funny stories and life I experience in my daily life as a stay-at-home-Mama Bear. But in the process, I am sharing potentially embarrassing stories of Brother Bear and Sugar Bear without their permission. Is this wrong?
As you noticed right away, everyone involved in the blog has a bear-able pseudonym (har har har). My attempt at humor AND privacy. You'll also notice that the few pictures of my bear cubs never include a full view, or their eyes. I just couldn't face the idea of some weird-o happening upon my blog and oogling my children. So, I did make some choices in advance regarding what I would and would not share with you cyber bears.
But how far is too far? What story is too much? I have my own ideas, but I'd love to hear YOURS.
So, Cyber Bears, in this age of technology and blogging, what is your "line in the sand" regarding children and blogging? How much is too much? How do I have a blog, and avoid millions of dollars in therapy sessions with my bear cubs later?
I really want to know.
Maybe it's because my tyke is still so wee (relatively speaking), but I haven't giving much thought to the "embarrassment" thing. I know the grandparents really appreciate the updates, and I think I'm self-absorbed enough :-) that the longer tales are about me, not my offspring.
ReplyDeleteEvery time someone makes her blog private, I worry about whether that's what I should do, too. Clearly, I'm not as anonymous as you are, but I do try to remain pretty oblique as to where we live, etc. I hear the news stories about creepy people out there, but I figure that there are a bijillion blogs and, frankly, people can find out everything about you in other ways if they really want to. So I'm at peace with where we are.
Going back to the story thing-- I really think that the kids will enjoy having a record of their growing-up antics. I know I would! I always ask your auntie and uncle bear if they remember thus and such about my childhood. Since I was NOT the first child, I usually get the short end of that stick...so, just think, you're doing a real service to Sugar Bear! :-)
I've often wondered about this very subject. I started my blog as a way to keep out of town family members up-to-date on our family, esp. the kids. And even though it's evolved into something more than that now, and I write about lots of different subjects, I still think its a great way to help our family members stay up-to-date.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the embarrassment issue goes, or the question of what is too much to share, I might come at this from a different angle... I was the 3rd child born in my family, born just 15 months after one of my sisters was born. My parents did not have a lot of money. I have 1 picture of me that my grandmother took when I was 3 weeks old. The next picture I have is when I was 2 years old. I don't have a baby book, and my mother was in a horrible car accident when I was 8 years old, so her memory of events before that time is a bit sketchy. I chronicle the lives of my children because I never had that. I take lots of pictures and write about certain things because I want my children to have something I don't have. Maybe that's not the best reasoning, but it's my reasoning. :-) I think it can become a problem when you go from 50 people reading about something that happened in the life of your child, to 500,000 people reading about it. At that point, it would probably be prudent to share less personal aspects of your child's life with your readers. I also think it can become a problem when one of your children wants you to stop or not share something, and you do it anyway. Because then it's no longer a question of blogging (should I or shouldn't I blog), its a question of respect; respecting your child's wishes just as much as you hope they will respect yours.
I have to agree with the above comment... people can find out anything and everything about you and your children in other ways. You could simply take them for a walk down your street, and someone could see them, ask the child their name, age, if they like something specific, etc... We can't live our lives in a bubble of fear.
And here's one more thing I think is worth mentioning. I think about all the wonderful women authors whom I admire so much. And the ones I hold closest to my heart are the ones who were particularly honest about their life as a mom... Erma Bombeck being one of my all time favorites!
I could say more, but my comments are always too long. :-)
I think privatizing my blog was the best solution for me...I might not have done it without my husband's insistence...but I do think it serves a vital purpose. It allows me to be transparent and real without wondering who's reading/watching. I have their names in a list!! That said, I do enjoy other mommy's non-private blogs (like yours). But since I know you you are, does that count? Very interesting article. Thanks for sharing.
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This doesn't have to be either/or. Write the stories. Get advertisers. Make money. Pay for therapy.
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