Words With Sugar Bear

Brother Bear has alway been our elocutionist.  As a wee little cub he rarely - if ever - mispronounced words (Ok.  There was the SUPER DUPER mispronunciation of "construction" for two very long years...but other than that...).  If he didn't know how to pronounce something, he either chose another word or learned how to pronounce it correctly.

Sugar Bear, on the other hand, never ceases to amaze us with her unique use of words.  She's not afraid to barrel into a word she wants to use.  Mispronounced or not.  Gotta love that cub's hair-on-fire tenacity.

Some of them are so cute they make me giggle out loud.  I'm afraid I'm going to forget them, so I'm writing them down now for posterity.  And, hopefully, it will give you a giggle or two as well.

• breastiss - the first meal of the day especially when taken in the morning.  ("Mama Bear, what's for breastiss?")
• pampakes - a flat cake made of thin batter and cooked (as on a griddle) on both sides.  ("When I wake up in the morning, I want pampakes for breastiss!")
• ihlarious - marked by or causing hilarity: extremely funny.  ("Brother Bear, you are ihlarious!")
• banano - a personal music device.  ("I want to listen to music on Brother Bear's banano")
• hippomapotomus - a very large herbivorous 4-toed chiefly aquatic artiodactyl mammal of sub-Saharan Africa with an extremely large head and mouth, bare and very thick grayish skin, and short legs. ("Why don't they have hippomapotomus at the zoo?")
• callapiller - the elongated wormlike larva of a butterfly or moth.  ("I want to read The Very Hungry Callapiller!)
• yogrit - a fermented slightly acid often flavored semisolid food made of milk and milk solids to which cultures of 2 bacteria have been added.  ("I want some yogrit for dessert!")

Just a few that I can remember at the moment.  Enjoy....

I believe in miracles!

Do you believe in miracles? Today on Facebook, I'm talking about miracles. Click here to read more.

Friday randoms

Hello, CyberBears! Just popping in here quickly to let go of some random thoughts that have been bouncing around in my brain/frustrating me/worrying me/harassing me this week.

You are welcome.

Have a great Friday!

• Chin hairs. The bastion of adulthood/woman-ness they surprisingly forgot to tell us about during that "class" in fifth grade.
• So, you know that "authentication code" section you have to do on the internets? You know, the ones with the scrambled words...to prove you aren't a robot? Yeah. I'm pretty sure those folks are in cahoots with the eyeglasses industry. It takes me at least two tries. Maybe more. (Note to self: never make fun of your elder {and wiser} Sister Bear when she gets reading glasses. Because, um, that might possibly bite you in the fuzzy behind sooner than you ever anticipated.)
• I caught a portion of a story on NPR the other day, and it was just enough to scare the be-jeepers outta me. Seems it's possible that the Earth's magnetic poles/fields are due for a switch. They say nothing big will change - only the compass will point South instead of north. I say that my compass pointing north one day and south the next day...BIG DEAL. I'm more than a little obsessed with checking compasses now. Oh, and for those of you that weren't already worried about this, the last time this occurred was a wee 740,000 years ago. So, HOW IN THE WORLD do we know nothing bad's going to happen if all the folks that were around when it happened are now fossils??? Are my cubs going to grow up saying "True South" versus "True North?" These are the things that keep me awake at night.
• I've always been a big fan of NPR's show, "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" Love it. But now that I've stepped up my technological game to 2009 levels and learned how to download a Podcast, I love it even more. Nothing, and I do mean nothing makes an hour long torture session on the skinny seat of pain bike ride more entertaining than an episode of "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" Love.
• I witnessed some seriously savvy Mom-ing today. I was at Sugar Bear's ballet class and they were asking mom's to sign up for the role of "Backstage Mom" for their upcoming recital. Every Mama Bear in the room immediately went digging for a pen in their purse. Guess who was the only Mama Bear with a pen? Yep. Bravo, other Mama Bears. Bravo. Note to self: stop carrying a pen in my purse.
• My favorite restaurant in the world has upped their game. Yes they have. Chick Fila is now serving a "Banana Pudding Milkshake" see:

Mmmm......

I restrained myself. Today. But, rest assured CyberBears, my willpower will eventually fail me. And it will be divine.

Taking the Road Less Traveled

Today on Facebook, I'm talking about taking the road less traveled. Click here to read more.

Fearing to Fear

Today on Facebook, I'm trying to sort out when to fear and when not to. If you have an easy answer, please let me know. Because, I'm still struggling. Click here to read more.

How you doing?

So, Mama Bear, how's that whole "conquering fear" thing going?

Good. Good. Why do you ask?

Oh, no reason. No reason at all...

What?!?!?!?

Yes, that's me and my cubs wearing our helmets crowded in the guest bathroom riding out the storms in our area yesterday. And, yes, I do have earbuds in listening to the local weatherman's live reports of the storm. That is, until the cubs commandeered my laptop because the iPad battery died.

Thanks to all of you who checked in on us. We are safe. Papa Bear had a pretty adventurous day at the airport, Brother Bear spent 1.5 hours in "duck and cover" in the school hallway, and Sugar Bear spent some "special time" in the music room at school singing songs. Meanwhile, I went into full panic mode because all of my loved ones were with someone else and I couldn't do a durn thing about it.

I'm working on it, CyberBears. I really am. But, I'm definitely a work in progress...

If you have a moment, pray for those in our community affected by the tornadoes. They need it.

At least it isn't genetic...

(My apologies for the interference. We were at the literal tippy, tippiety top of a mountain and the wind was breathtaking.)

Yep. That's my cub. Taking approximately 25 years off my life as he catapults himself down a mountain at breakneck speed. (rest assured, no cubs were injured in the filming of this video. And, he did stop without killing himself - or anyone else).

At times, I'd like to give him some of my fear. Just a smidgen.

Because, at this rate, I'm going to be 63 by the end of the week.

No one said this would be easy...

All in all, last week was a crummy week. Papa Bear was out of town on business, my purse was stolen, I locked my keys in the car the next day, someone mistook me as being SEVEN YEARS older than I actually am...you know...just your regular, run of the mill crummy week. Crummy.

This week, I have still been struggling with my frustrations from last week, plus feeling a wee bit vulnerable after publicly "announcing" my fears and my journey to overcome them. Being open and honest also means you lay yourself open and vulnerable. And I'll be straight up honest with you right now: being vulnerable is not a comfortable feeling for me.

So, on Thursday of this week, I had to endure a "test." It really wasn't a test, just a necessary part of the process for my long-term goal over a year from now. (Side bar: many of you have figured out my goal - in theory. A few of you have figured it out - exactly. The last few of you are still living in la-la land waiting for me to announce a pregnancy. I'll let you keep your guesses, or keep living in la-la land. Because I cannot yet speak the words.) Although it wasn't a real test, the word "test" was involved.

And it messed with my brain.

Because this "test" was like the amuse bouche of the all you can eat buffet ahead of me. And I was done, finished, kaput after just one bite of the amuse bouche. All I could think about the entire time was how horrible I felt, and how the goal I set for myself was impossible, unreachable, and - most importantly - just plain stupid. Oh, and that now I've let all my friends and family know I've set this stupid, unattainable goal too. Nice.

Now, in theory, I passed the test. But in my head, I walked away feeling a level of defeat, frustration, and FEAR than I cannot even communicate.

A part of me wanted to quit. Just walk away. Tell myself I could never do this, could never measure up. And for a moment, I listened.

And then another part of me spoke up and said, "no one ever said this would be easy." And CyberBears, I'm learning early on, this is not easy.

But here's the thing: that's why I'm taking this on. I picked a goal that, honestly, I have no earthly idea whether I can achieve. It's quite possible that this just might be an epic failure. And it terrifies me.

The root of why I'm so terrified is what I'm hoping to figure out during this process. And, I'm certainly not sure where this process is going to take me.

Until then, I'm going have to force myself to settle into this discomfort. And take my MamaBear's very sage advice: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

I can also hang on to you CyberBears who I am confident are carrying me forward when I am frozen with fear. How am I so confident? Because every day, I look at this:

a small reminder card a CyberBear found and sent me in the mail, which I've taped on the blinds over my kitchen sink. I look at it multiple times a day and remind myself of God's promise in this verse - that he is with me on this journey, and he will not abandon me in this process (or, ever for that matter!).

Or this:

A card from another CyberBear who shares not only my brain, but my sense of humor.

Or this:

(the front of another card sent by a CyberBear)

Because, if all else fails, I'll just channel Elvis.

(Have I mentioned how great you CyberBears are? MWWAH! {that's me giving y'all a big ol' sloppy CyberKiss!} You guys ROCK!)

So, for now, I'm walking forward on blind faith. Not yet confident that this is truly something I can do. But I do know that, no matter what, it's exactly where I'm supposed to be.

"...Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

(Robert Frost, Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood)

Jumping on Faith

This past weekend, I started my journey to break free from fear, and today, I'm writing about it on Facebook. Click here to read more about it.

BEFORE

The sign may say one thing...but my body language is saying something completely different! So thankful for the ever faithful support of JoBear. Even if she wouldn't let me turn around.

AFTER

TERRA FIRMA baby, TERRA FIRMA.

As a special treat for my CyberBears (because, I truly love you guys) I have video of this event. I'm warning you now, if you are watching this at work or around dogs with sensitive ears, TURN DOWN THE VOLUME BUTTON. All I can say is that I didn't even realize that noise was coming out of my body. THAT is how scared I was.

I repeat. Turn down the volume. You have been warned.

Oh. And don't be afraid to laugh when you watched this. I sure did.

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of laughing over the next year.

And that might just be a good thing.

Hit me with your best shot!

Remember this post? Yeah....me too. A mere 6 months ago, someone broke into my car and stole my purse while I was at the gym working out.

Today, while I was working out at the gym, someone broke into my padlocked locker and stole my purse.

First things first: Yes, I checked the lock and it WAS LOCKED. I'm kinda anal about it since someone stole my purse six months ago.

The first time I felt violated but embarrassed because I had forgotten my purse in the car. This time? Violated and frightened. Because my purse not only had my identification, but the keys to my car and MY HOUSE.

Does anyone else see the humor in this happening less than 24 hours after announcing my personal challenge to tackle my fears?

So, I decided not to let fear be my guide (Cautious and smart, yes. Fearful, no.) I had a policeman check my house before I returned.

Then.

Then I let ANGER be my guide. I pulled up my big girl panties and decided to face this HEAD ON like a FREIGHT TRAIN.

Hey thief! If you are reading this. YES, YOU. GAME ON. GAME FREAKING ON!

I called the credit card companies and got all the information I need to give to the detective in hopes of securing video surveillance of the thieves in action. I then thought I would throw a shot in the dark and see if the "find my phone" app on my phone would possibly help.

And guess what?

That nifty little app worked. Guess where the blinking beacon said my phone was located?

AT THE STINKING GYM.

I marched (emphasis on march) myself back up to the gym with my computer. I showed them the map, explained that it was clear my phone was still in the vicinity, and then told them I wasn't leaving until we found it.

I then asked (okay, told) them to continuously press the "ping phone" button until I found it. And they did.

For two hours straight.

I checked the entire parking lot. The drainage gullies. I put on gloves and checked every dumpster in the parking lot and EVERY. SINGLE. TRASH CAN in the gym.

Before we go any further, I think it's important that I give you these 2 important pieces of information:

1. people at the gym use way, way, WAY too many paper towels. I believe this gym alone deforested a small country in South America. And they were ALL nasty.

2. I shall never eat at a local neighborhood hot spot again. Blech.

I even went in the nearby drugstore to check. The conversation with the employee went something like this:

MB: Hi. My purse was stolen and my phone locater says it is somewhere in this vicinity. Has anyone turned in a phone?

EMPLOYEE BEAR: Nope.

MB: Okay. Well, I'm pinging the phone right now. Have you heared any beeping? Or anything like it?

EMPLOYEE BEAR: Nope. But to be honest with you, I hear beeping and other noises pretty much all the time.

MB: .....

(Note to self: have prescriptions transferred after replacing driver's license)

After all that, I returned to the gym, positive that the phone was STILL THERE. I just knew it. I took another stab at the trash cans. At which point, one of the gym janitors decided to help me out. He asked me if I checked the lockers. I told him I had checked the locker room trash cans. He asked if I had checked EVERY SINGLE locker. I told him I hadn't. Why would it still be in the LOCKERS? So, nearing defeat, I decided to try his idea. I returned to the locker room and began opening and shutting every. single. locker.

Guess what?

I found my purse.

And my keys.

And my phone - still beeping and displaying the message: THIS PHONE IS STOLEN PROPERTY. RETURN TO GYM IMMEDIATELY OR RISK PROSECUTION. (I meant it when I said "GAME ON.")

But not my wallet.

Seems the thieves were interested in only my easy cash and credit cards and nothing else. They busted my lock, snagged my wallet and threw the rest in another locker about ten lockers away.

So, I guess I can rest a little more safely tonight.

But that little thief?

Better sleep with one eye open.

Because, I AM NOT AFRAID.

********************************

Now, I have a question for you, CyberBears. The operations manager at the gym said she "wants to compensate me" for my troubles. That "I shouldn't have dealt with this twice." So, she is going to "talk to corporate" about this and "see what they can do."

I told her thank you, and that I would discuss it with her later. My chief concern at the moment was getting my purse. But I was also afraid that if I accepted any offer right there, I would be required to sign papers releasing them from liability...which I wasn't ready to do (and, am still not sure I'm ready to do).

So..CyberBears. What should I do? Dump the gym? (my beloved trainer works there. I'm not sure I can imagine going forward with my training without his support). Accept an offer of a few free months and be happy? Get a lawyer?

Seriously. I need proper advice. I don't want to bilk anyone. However, I do want the folks at this place to get a clue about the serious problem they have going on right under their noses. Leave your thoughts in the comments section. Feel free to keep 'em anonymous.

Unless of course, you are the thief. In that case, I'd like your name and address, please. Quid pro quo.

Oh. And my only iPhone complaint? That "lost phone ping" needs to be MUCH MUCH louder. MeMaw spent too much time today with her head hovered over trash cans trying to hear her new fangled phone. But I guess I can't complain since their app found my stuff.

Clear as mud?

Y'all.

Have I mentioned how much I love you CyberBears? Come a lil' closer to the screen. Closer. Lil' more....now {SQUEEEEEZZZZZZZE!!!!!} (That's me giving you all a big ol' CyberHug.)

You guys are so fun. And so sweet. And so supportive.

Thank you.

However, what you AREN'T is familiar with the game of Clue. I thought I gave you 3 pretty big clues (2 pictures, 1 written). However, it seems I need to do some clarifying (without, of course, revealing too much). So, to clarify:

1. Despite what many of you would LOVE to see, it's not another cub. Seriously. I love my 2 cubs to death. But another cub? VERY, VERY, VERY AFRAID. And, surprisingly enough, I don't feel the need to overcome that one.

2. Permanent body art will NOT be a part of this.

One more hint (For a total of 5..because, if you are good at the game of clue, you just caught another clue mere seconds ago). And that's all. After that, I'm not discussing it, confirming it, or denying it. Because, I might just throw up all over you. And that would just be rude.

So. Final Clue:

A small sampling of the mere REJECTS:

GAH.

Did I mention, GAH? BLACH? EEEEEK?

I really mean it when I say that all my hopes and dreams almost died RIGHT THEN AND THERE in that horrifically lit room o' torture.

Okay. That is all. We shall never speak of this again.

Ever.

I'm not afraid!

It's time to come clean: I was afraid to write this post.

Really. I put a deadline on this. Then I pushed it. And pushed it again. All because I was afraid. Which, I think is such a perfect example of why I've decided to embark on a journey of sorts.

But first, let me fill you in a little more...

Years ago, during a High School discipleship weekend, I discovered a verse that I just loved. So, I claimed it for myself. The verse is:

For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. II Timothy 1:7

For some reason, this verse spoke to me in a way I had never experienced before. It was my mantra for surviving high school and life as a Christian. I was not afraid! God gave me power, love, and self-discipline! With that, I could conquer anything, right?

Well, it's been a while since high school and I sit here now in front of this computer and admit to you today: I am a Mama Bear enslaved by fear.

Now, it's not like these fears are keeping me from leaving the den or anything. They just seem to pervade every part of my life and I think they've eaten away at the Mama/Woman Bear I think God created and intended me to be.

I don't know how it happened. I figure it crept up on me slowly and then finally overwhelmed me. It seems so crazy though. I'm a confident Mama Bear! You wouldn't think on first meeting that I'm so controlled by fear. Yet, I am.

But I've finally decided to do something about it.

I recently celebrated a birthday and in less than 365 days I'll reach another one. A milestone one. I could be afraid. But I won't be. Instead, I've decided spend then next year on a voyage of self discovery, attempting to take back control, and - hopefully - free myself from the fear that has controlled me for too long.

Want to join me?

There will be "little" challenges throughout the year. But I've also set a big goal for myself. It deals with a fear that hangs over me like a rain cloud every single day. This big goal will take over a year of preparation. And it terrifies me.

Truly.

I'm not going to let you know what it is just yet. Just know that I had to overcome a real fear just to even let you CyberBears know I'd set the goal. But I will give you a few hints. It involved a visit here:

and maybe to a place that does this:

(Trust me. The first place was waaaaaaaay more painful than the second! And it almost derailed the whole thing.)

But now I'm going public. I'm forcing myself to admit this out loud (so to speak) to make myself follow through.

I hope you follow me along this journey. I don't know where it's going to take me. But I'm ready to break these chains, reclaim II Timothy 1:7, and see what happens. And, who knows, maybe I've struck a cord with you too? Maybe you need to start a similar journey. I would love some other weary travelers to join me along the way.

And, in the words of the famous poet, Eminem,

I'm not afraid, to take a stand

Everybody, come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let'n you know, you're not alone

Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road.

(Is it grounds for instant damnation if you quote Scripture and Eminem in the same blog post? I sure hope not...)

Here's to a year of breaking free from fear.

Let the journey begin.......

Friday Randoms

I'm writing this post as I desperately try to get ready to head out of town for a Women's Retreat and concurrently parent my cubs. Nothing like multi-tasking to make a Mama Bear feel competent (sarcasm font, please!).

I don't normally post on the weekends. However, I'm working on something that...well...is a big deal for me. I've been scheming this for a while now. But the pieces are falling into place, and my personal deadline to make it public has already passed. So...I'm forcing myself to commit to this. But I need a few quiet minutes away from my precious (but time sucking) cubs in order to process my thoughts and write them up. Insert perfectly timed Women's Retreat!! Yeah! So, assuming that the retreat location has Wifi and assuming I can actually figure out said Wifi (both BIG ifs) I'm going to post this weekend. If not, I'll have the post on Monday.

I'm saying this more to FORCE myself into going public with my plan rather than torture you into hitting refresh all weekend. Nothing like a blog to keep one honest...

Until then, a few randoms for you:

• My Brother Bear and I were texting back and forth yesterday about this restaurant I saw. He had some pretty snazzy ideas about it that left us both hungry.

What do you think Cyberbears? Culinary Genius or Culinary Disaster??

• This:

has been sitting neatly packed in our bedroom ready to go since Thursday. He doesn't leave until Sunday night!!! Me? I packed my hospital bag for both my deliveries while in active labor and am currently franticly writing my "talk" at the Women's Retreat (whilst blogging and parenting said cubs). Tomorrow. Yet another reason why he and I are truly made for each other.

• I've decided to try my hand at becoming a morning bear. I'm five days in and, surprisingly, I haven't died yet. Only one morning was an epic failure. My wake-up times have been (M-F): 6:30, 6:15, 6:15, 6:00 and (insert trumpet sound) 5:45!! My bedtime however, is embarrassingly early now. Just call me MeMaw as I went to SLEEP at 9:30 p.m. last night (I was in bed even earlier). Next on my list? Conquering the world, waking up at 5:15 a.m., and figuring out something to do in the mornings other than drink a cup of coffee and wander aimlessly around the house in my jammies. (Baby Steps, right?)

Okay. That's it for today.

Be looking for more from me soon....

First Aid kit

Do you remember the Band Aid ad where the little kids sang, "I am stuck on Band Aid Brand 'cuz Band Aid's stuck on me?" Sugar Bear is totally stuck on Band Aids. They are pretty cool, 'ya know...

Today I'm talking about Band Aids and healing. Click here to read more.