Immaterial

In the days before cubs, I worked for a large global accounting firm. My parent bears, knowing my disdain for numbers and anything mathematical, always found this very entertaining. Let it be known, I had nothing to do with the accounting side of things (lest you be inclined to blame the current economic climate on me). I was a recruiter bear for said firm. I loved the work, as well as the bears I worked with - even if they were a bunch of accountants (and later, actuaries).

I did my best to educate myself on what our employees did and how they did it so I could (hopefully) be a knowledgeable representative. While I didn't have a degree and I certainly never would have survived actually being an accountant, I was able to get by while working there.

But there was one often used word that I was never able to fully grasp. The accountants were always tossing around the word "immaterial." The definition of immaterial is: of no importance or relevance; inconsequential or irrelevant. My little non-accounting brain could never process how anything (especially as it relates to numbers or money) could be immaterial. But, apparently, immaterial is an accountant's best friend. Or, word, as it were.

So, fast forward several years (stick with me Cyberbears).

Brother Bear was now a part of our life adding joy and blessings beyond recognition. Of course, Papa Bear and I figured that the only thing that would make life better would be to add more joy (read: another cub). Being the worrier that I am as well as being a part of the Stay-At-Home-Mama-Bear community where everyone has an opinion about everything cub related, I worried about their age difference. I knew I didn't want them too close together, but I was more sure I didn't want them too far either.

When things didn't go as Papa Bear and I planned regarding adding more joy, I worried even more. I have such a wonderful relationship with my siblings, and I wanted more than anything for Brother Bear to have that too. But it just wasn't happening. During this time I heard (or read?) somewhere that if siblings are more than 5 years apart, it's as if you have two "only" children. I became possessed. Seriously. I set my mind that 5 years was my limit and I wouldn't go a day over. As I write this I realize how silly that sounds but, at the time, I wouldn't budge. No more than five years difference or no siblings. I drew my line in the sand.

Brother Bear and Sugar Bear are 4 years and 11 months TO THE DAY apart. I might possibly have had a conversation with God about cutting it a little close for my tastes (I'm still working on that whole control thing, Cyberbears). But we were overjoyed to say the least.

While I was pregnant, I worried incessantly about the age difference, and whether Brother Bear would "bond" with the new cub, have a worthy sibling relationship, etc., etc. etc. (Are you guys noticing a worry theme going on here? Yeah....I know...I need to work on that too). The worries might have all been in my head, but the comments from other folks didn't help. I remember one bear telling me, "this new cub is going to ROCK Brother Bear's world." Ugh. Yes, he was right. But what first child's world ISN'T rocked by a new sibling? I was very sensitive about it, and very concerned. Those numbers really mattered to me.

Fast forward 2 more years.

One evening recently, Sugar Bear was throwing a tantrum as only two year olds can. Nothing would appease her. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I was at my wits end with her. She was literally inconsolable. Brother Bear sidled up to her and said, "Sugar Bear, do you want Brother Bear to read you a book?" She immediately stopped crying and hiccuped an oh-so-pitiful, "yes." He headed into her into her room, she pitter-patted after him, and I walked away for a moment to catch my wits.

I returned to find them cuddled together in their rocking chair doing this:

I now understand how a number can be truly immaterial.

Numbers don't matter. Nurture is just as important as nature. I watch it every day as I see my 2 cubs interact and grow. Papa Bear and I love to sit at the dinner table and just watch the interactions between these two. Now, I'll be honest, every day isn't roses and sunshine. There are days that are more thorns and rain (for example: Brother Bear has expressly denied Sugar Bear entrance to his room during the day because of the mess she creates). BUT, no matter what the numbers (or other bears) say, those two children are siblings and love each other exactly the way I had hoped.

I sure am glad that it was God, not me, in control. Because if it had been up to me, I might possibly have missed out on this mind-blowing joy.

And that, Cyberbears, would have been material.