Thursday, December 31, 2009

The reason why this blog has been so quiet....

We were hibernating with Papa Bear's family in the state from whence he came..

Sunrise
Sunset


I should probably apologize to you, Cyber Bears, for neglecting you so. But, did you just see those pictures? Yeah. They were taken from the deck of our cabin. I feel amazingly unable to apologize after enjoying that view on Christmas Day.

Hope you had a very Merry Christmas. Here's to a great New Year together.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Bah! Humbug!

"External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was better than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty."

A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

A Letter to the "Local" Theatre Company Producing their Annual Performance of Dickens' A Christmas Carol:

I love Dickens' A Christmas Carol. It's a lovely story of redemption and renewal. But the real reason I love it, is because of my family. Let me explain.

As many Christmases as was possible growing up, our family of 5 drove 2 hours west to see A Christmas Carol performed by the Theatre Company in "the big city". I remember each experience vividly. The anticipatory drive into the city, the fancy red velvet seats in the theatre, the bigger than life actors, and - of course - the amazing story of Scrooge.

When my first niece was a cub, My Daddy Bear decided that we needed to renew our tradition, and pass it along to a new generation. When Brother Bear arrived, we inducted him into the now annual tradition. That was seven Christmases ago. That's right - do the math. We brought our then 3 month old cub to see the performance. Sure, we had to take him out at points. We were always considerate of the other patrons, and never once received a negative comment or a dirty look. Not once. Not even last year, when I brought my then 4 month old cub AND five year old cub to the performance. We had a perfect balance of kindness to fellow patrons as well as welcoming a new generation into our wonderful family tradition. It worked very well we thought.

"...for it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child himself." A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

This year was my first year to order the tickets myself (My Daddy Bear had previously taken care of these details). I called the number for the "Local" Theatre Company and was greeted by a representative for the new "INSERT CORPORATE NAME HERE Performing Arts Center". I guess now that the city has this wonderful Performance Hall, there is one central phone system for it all.

I noticed on their website, as well as on A VERY LARGE BILL BOARD on A VERY LARGE ROAD IN THIS TOWN that they were offering "Youth Tickets" for $15. That's great! Since our family was hoping to spring for the tickets this year, that would be a nice savings from the $45-$65 adult tickets.

So, I first asked the representative if my now 16 month old cub needed a ticket since she would be sitting in someone's lap the whole time. Her answer was a resounding YES. "EVERY PERSON who enters the theatre must have ticket," she tells me emphatically. Okay, no problem. While it seems a little overkill to me that my lap sitting, sixteen month old needs a ticket, I figure we can afford the extra $15 required for a youth ticket. I then tell the representative that I need 4 adult tickets and 2 youth tickets. I was then put on hold.

"Bah! Said Scrooge. Humbug!" A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

"I'm sorry ma'am. There aren't any Youth Tickets available," she says when she returns. Not any available? They were advertised ON A BILLBOARD. And your website says that "Youth Tickets available are for children under 18 years old with the purchase of an Adult ticket only". I'm buying 4 adult tickets, so I should be able to get my 2 youth tickets. I was then put on hold.

Again.

The representative returns again to tell me that there are only TEN youth tickets available for each show, and those ten tickets are gone for this performance. Huh? That fine print seems to be missing from the website as well as THE GIANT BILLBOARD ADVERTISING YOUTH TICKETS.

Now I'm a little frustrated. But I'm still intent on continuing the now beloved family tradition. So I tell the representative that I would now like to buy SIX adult tickets (gulp) starting from the end of the row so we can have easy access should we need to exit the theatre quickly. I was then put on hold.

Again.

For a while.

This time the representative told me that she was checking with her manager to see "if there was a minimum age requirement" for the performance. There wasn't. (Um, if she'd asked me, I could have told her that SINCE I'VE BEEN ATTENDING THE PERFORMANCE EVERY YEAR WITH MY BEAR CUBS FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS!) But she did, however, need to inform me that I would need to make sure that my bear cub behaved - and I might be asked to leave if she didn't.

"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me!" A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

And that was about the time that I ended my conversation with the representative of the "INSERT CORPORATE NAME HERE Performing Arts Center". Okay. So maybe it was after telling her that I have taken bear cubs to this performance for SIX YEARS, and knew how to keep them in line, and what to do if they didn't behave. But I knew that I needed to end the conversation quickly after that. Because I was terribly frustrated at that point, and was NO LONGER THINKING LOGICALLY. (And, if you know me - if I keep speaking past that point it isn't pretty).

"But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefor, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good ; and I say, God bless it!" A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

After calming myself down, and sleeping on in for a few days, I recognize that this representative was just doing her job. The problem is that she had a job to do. And what I mean is, it seems that in all the fanciness and impressiveness that this "INSERT CORPORATE NAME HERE Performing Arts Center" has become, they have forgotten the beauty of Dickens' tale.

A tale of a man who is so focused on money and wealth to point of ostracizing family, friends, and anyone who comes in contact with him that he has nothing left but his money. A man who, haunted by ghosts of the past, present, and future finally sees the light. A man who is redeemed from the world of greed.

It's a tale that I see every year because I need the gentle reminder. It's a tale that I take my bear cubs to see, because I want to teach them about what is most important in life: gentleness, kindness, charity. It's a tale that, despite the experience I related above, we'll see again this year. I maybe a little jaded, but I'm not above offering a little redemption either.

It's also a tale that a few folks in corporate need to see this year too.

Signed,

Mama Bear

" 'God Bless us every one!' said Tiny Tim, the last of all" A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens


Saturday, December 12, 2009

"Lookin' Good"....And other runner's lies

I am running my 12th marathon tomorrow. I actually have the honor of pacing a new friend to meet his own personal best. This guy survived a heart attack in 2003. He has conquered much - now he's going to conquer this beast.

I love running marathons. What I love more is seeing people feel the accomplishment that running 26.2 miles gives you. It gives you a faith in yourself that (I think) nothing else can.

This quote was in this month's Runner's World magazine. I thought it was really funny. Hope you enjoy.

"Lying is NOT something we normally endorse. But it's perfectly acceptable to tell a runner that he (she) is looking good at mile 19 of a marathon when, in fact, he (she) looks like an insomniac who's trying to sneeze, and is confused because someone has switched his (her) running shoes with replicas made of concrete. The go-to lie is 'Lookin' good!' Or you could say, 'If I weren't so awed by the apparent ease with which you're navigating this course, I might be angry with you for nearly knocking me unconscious with your very awesomeness!' The key is to SAY SOMETHING. Even a zombie appreciates encouragement."

So, if you are out there tomorrow, please make sure you SAY SOMETHING to the runners. Every single one.

We need it.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Coal

The Holidays are stressful on everyone, but none more so than The Four Bears family pet. He's been known to be very naughty during The Holidays, and has often received only a lump of coal as a present. There was one particularly bad Christmas where he ate: a pan of brownies, a cookie sheet worth of gingerbread men, several ornaments, a doggie carrying case (not his), a doggie brush (not his), a pecan pound cake AND multiple pieces of the cake stand he broke in his attempt to liberate the pound cake.

Clearly, he has unresolved issues surrounding The Holidays. But a little doggie Prozac and aging seemed to work in our favor the past few years.

Until this year:
Yep. That is (what's left of) the Virgin Mary from our "Little People" Manger.

He'll be receiving another large lump of coal in his stocking for sure. And from the looks of it, he will be going to Hell as well.

Monday, November 30, 2009

And the winner for, "The Comic Strip Artist Who Lives in My Life" goes too...


Brian Basset of Red and Rover.

Seriously. I swear that this man must have met Brother Bear and our dog.

I'm still laughing. Hope you are too!

Happy Monday!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Survival Techniques

Want to know the survival techniques I employ to make it through a week without Papa Bear?

Sugar. And LOTS of it.

For the bear cubs, of course.

Okay, maybe a wee bit for me too. Just a smidgen. I deserve it.

Right? RIGHT????

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Answer to, "Why does all the toilet paper in your house hang from the ceiling?"

Sigh.

I forgot this stage. Probably my body's attempt at self preservation. My house was messy enough before Sugar Bear starting walking around like the Tazmanian Devil and tearing it to pieces. I spend a good ten minutes at the end of the day returning things to their rightful place. I'm not sure why I even try...

I'm thinking of moving out to escape the mess. Do you think anyone would notice?

One of her favorite things to do? Remove folded laundry from the basket and throw it across the living room. Probably because clean, folded laundry is a rare sight in this den - but that's another story.

Good thing she's cute.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy Birthday


Happy Birthday, Papa Bear!!

To the bear who swept me off my feet

and still loves me 12 years (and 2 bear cubs) later.

Who can't remember a single thing we discuss

but is still the best Papa Bear to our bear cubs.

Who joined me in life and parenthood

And believes in partnership and teamwork.

The hardest working bear I know

As well as the most giving.

Who is hardest on himself

And sometimes forgets to give himself grace.

The bear who is not afraid to take the path less traveled

Even when he has no earthly idea where it will lead.

I'm glad we're on this path together.

"Grow old with me,

The best is yet to be."

Monday, November 9, 2009

Happy Veterans' Day

Below is a project that Brother Bear did this weekend. I could tell you that I researched and planned for weeks in preparation for this project. Or, maybe - just maybe - I was looking for something to occupy Brother Bear whilst Papa Bear was on a 2 hour Saturday bike ride and Sugar Bear was being real grumpy pants.

Either way, the end result makes me smile. Thought it would for you too..


Thursday, November 5, 2009

How long?

The question isn't how long do you leave your Christmas decorations up. The question is how long do you leave your rotting jack-o-lantern on your front porch.

Currently, we're at 12 days.

We have to wave off the flies as we wait for carpool. I hold my breath when I get the morning paper.

I refuse to touch it at this point. I have a delicate constitution...

Perhaps if I were some home-schooling genius I could turn this into a great science lesson. Or maybe, we could just start a compost pile right there on our front doorstep. I'll tell everyone we're "going green".

The Neighborhood Association Award for "Trashiest Neighbor" goes to....
The Four Bears!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Boo!

Hope you had a Halloween full of Happy Haunts. Here are a few happenings from our haunted house:

Sugar Bear Monkey
Sure, she should have been a bear. But that would require me to have it together enough to think about it in advance. Instead of throwing her in Brother Bear's former costume at the last minute. Oh, and yes, I'm letter her run amok in the street. Thanks for noticing the fabulous parenting.


Star Wars Clone Trooper
Scared yet? I am. I'm sk-uh-air-ed. Because we've officially entered "the age of Star Wars".

Super Mama Bear
The scariest costume of them all...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Top of the List

A conversation between Brother Bear and his female carpool cub (thanks to the other Mama Bear for relating the story) :

Female Cub: Brother bear, I want to marry you.

Other Mama Bear: Well, two people have to agree...one day...after college...after you have a job...a long time from now. You have plenty of time to decide.

Brother Bear: Well, I also have a lot of girl cubs to decide from. Another female cub keeps saying she wants to marry me too. But Female Carpool Cub, is definitely at the top of my list.

Female Cub: What does "top of your list" mean?

Brother Bear: It means I like you the best, so it's possible that I might marry you.

Female Cub: Oh, ok. I'll marry you Brother Bear, if I don't have anyone else I want to marry too.

Brother Bear: But, Female Carpool Cub, you know (whispers) you have to kiss!

Female Cub: Oh, Brother Bear, that's ok. We'll be grown ups by then and we won't mind.

Brother Bear: But, ewwwwwwww!!!


Monday, October 26, 2009

Tis the Season!


YIPEE!!! It's on the shelves again!
Little things, Cyber Bears. It's the little things....

(Oh, in case you were wondering, I in no way shape form or fashion was paid for this plug. In fact, I myself paid $2.99 for this post. Just keeping it honest.)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hypothetically speaking..

I have a funny story for you. A hypothetical one of course!

Imagine if you will a harried Mama Bear on a busy Monday morning. In her normal fashion, she brilliantly scheduled her bear cub's appointment with a very-important-doctor-bear for 8 a.m. Downtown. (In her defense, she was worried about her bear cub missing something important in - get this - kindergarten). Additionally, Papa Bear had come down with a raging case of what they thought would soon be gonna-go-blind-itis and needed her to take him to an emergency eye doctor appointment later that morning.

The family scurried downtown and actually arrived 10 minutes early in order to meet with the very-important-doctor-bear. Everyone was on their best behavior for the first 45 - 50 minutes of the wait. Then, of course, things started to go south which coincided nicely with the arrival of the very-important-doctor-bear. Things only got worse when the very-important-doctor-bear delivered some less than optimum news. The Mama Bear attempted to stay strong but now had an angry, sad, bear cub on her hands.

The Mama Bear did her best to console her bear cub all the while trying to hurry him back to school so that she could take her betrothed to the doctor on time. With said bear cub back at school, she rushed home to retrieve her now nearly blind and incapacitated Papa Bear. They hopped back in the family vehicle and with little time to spare, were off to the next appointment.

In her hurry to get to the next appointment, the Mama Bear did a very poor parking job. But fearing that her spouse could lose his eyesight at any moment, she felt that there just wasn't enough time to correct matter. Thus, she left her car parked dangerously close to the one next to her and squeezed herself out as quickly as possible and rushed to the doctor.

(Now is a good time to insert some helpful information about this hypothetical Mama Bear. She's been trying very hard to reduce her post bear cubs fluff and has recently met with relative success. Not enough success to make her fit into her old sizes, but enough to give her just a wee bit of confidence that she someday could.)

Fast forward 30 minutes or so. Mama Bear, Papa Bear and the youngest cub return from appointment all relieved that Papa Bear will not lose his eyesight. Delirious with relief (and confident with her recent reduction in fluff) she eyes her previous parking job and assures herself that she and her bear cub can return to the vehicle as easily as they exited it. Why? Well, because she's confident, and her new ride has automatic sliding doors! That's why!

This Mama Bear gingerly squeezes herself and her cub in between the two vehicles. She contorts her body in order to buckle the cub into the car seat. At this point she simultaneously closes the electronic sliding passenger door and tries to enter the driver's door. Why? Well, because she's a multi-tasker, and because she thinks she can! That's why!

Shortly there after, the Mama Bear realizes that the electronic sliding passenger door is quickly coming closed on the, uh, right half of her, ummm, derriere. Panic sets in. Having never tested the "safety open feature", she fears the worst. She is certain that she is about to get half her fluffy fanny stuck in her vehicle door. Visions of a 9-1-1 call, fire trucks and giggling paramedics enter her head. Sweating profusely and near fainting, she shuts her eyes and squeals a prayer that the safety feature does indeed work as it was advertised.

Then what can only be described as as a miracle occurs and the door begins loudly beeping and starts its slow descent off of her derriere. The Mama Bear was safe. She looked up to see that no one (save her spouse and her bear cub) witnessed the event. Despite ribbing from the ever so funny Papa Bear, she would live to see another day.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Hypothetically, of course.